Adopted from “Women Who Love Too Much”, Robin Norwood  

  • You come from a dysfunctional home in which your emotional needs were not met.
  • Having received little real nurturing yourself, you try to fill this unmet need vicariously – by becoming a caregiver, especially to those who appear in some way needy.
  • Because you were never able to change your parents into the warm loving caretakers you longed for, you respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally unavailable person whom you can again try to change through your love.
  • Terrified of abandonment, you will do anything to keep a relationship from dissolving.
  • Almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time, or is too expensive if it will “help” the person you are involved with.
  • Accustomed to lack of love in personal relationship, you are willing to wait, hope, and try harder to please.
  • You are willing to take far more than 50 percent of the responsibility, guilt, and blame in any relationship.
  • Your self-esteem is critically low, and deep inside you do not believe you deserve to be happy. Rather, you feel you must earn the right to enjoy life.
  • You have a desperate need to control your man/woman and your relationships having experienced little security in childhood. You mask your efforts to control people and situations as “being helpful”.
  • In relationship, you are much more in touch with your dream of “how it could be” than with the real situation.
  • You are addicted to men/women and emotional pain.
  • You may be predisposed biochemically, as well as emotionally, to abusing drugs, alcohol, and or certain foods, usually sugary ones.
  • By being drawn to people with problems, you keep from focusing on your responsibility to yourself.
  • You may have a tendency toward depression, which you try to forestall through the excitement provided by an unstable relationship.
  • You are not attracted to men who are kind, reliable, and interested in you. You find such “nice men/women” boring.